Five months since you left...
I’ve just hit the fifth month without Ben, and I’ll be honest, I thought by now I’d be a bit further on with my 'grief journey'…. When I’m fact, I’m probably right at the beginning. I’m writing this after two days of continuous crying, and when I say continuous, I mean probably three hours of one day when I wasn’t crying and an hour of the other day. I don’t think I’ve cried like that once in the whole five months since Ben has been gone. Grieving during lock down has been anything but normal. I’ve been distracted by this absolute craziness we’ve all been living for the past few months. I’ve been distracted by being a mum, teacher, caretaker, dinner lady.. And that’s just the kids.. I’m carer for my dad, who at times has found this extremely difficult. On days I can get up to 11 phone calls a day from him.. I’ve exercised every single weekday with my friend via FaceTime. I’ve not stopped…and I've also not worked, until last week when I made that step forward by